This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
