We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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