it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
