Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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