So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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