Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
