There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize