well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
