remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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