Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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