he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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