What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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