I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
