I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
