Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
