On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize