Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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