I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
