your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
