Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize