this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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