he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
