I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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