Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
