I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There r osticjed everywhere
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize