Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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