Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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