so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
