Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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