i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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