he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
