so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
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He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
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Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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