"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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