belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
