Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
