so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
