I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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