jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
