We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
oh god the rape fog is back!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
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