I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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