nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
tell me about the fingering
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
