actually, I'm a sock model
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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