You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
