That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
