After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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