That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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