Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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