By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't deserve a penis
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
