I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
