like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
