first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
