Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize