if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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