i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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