you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize