if you like me you must not know who I am
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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