He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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