Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
